Beautiful confident young lady sits outdoors smiling and eating a nourishing breakfast the sun is shining and she has a beautiful view


Hello and Welcome,

There are many things that have an effect on our lives, whether that be positively or negatively, whether that be a decision made or by a choice taken.

Whether those decisions and choices are ‘ right’ or ‘wrong.’ Be it by ‘accident’ or by ‘fate’. Regardless of the specifics, they will all come together to form our habits.

Today we are going to look at our habits, which are simply formed out of our decisions and choices,  which then come together to influence our moment to moment actions that we have come accustom to, as part of our daily lives.

We like to consider them as part of our makeup if you like. They, in turn, will affect every aspect of our lives.

Our habits will affect our success in life, who we marry, who we see when we look in the mirror, the body we have developed, our health, what type of house we live in, our relationships, the people we call our friends, our bank account balance, the job we do, not to mention our level of happiness, peace and contentment.A pretty girl with a yellow dress and long brown hair walks through a field of flowers

The good news is our habits aren’t intrinsic, so if we have some bad habits, they can be changed, and if we want to create some better habits they can be nurtured and developed. Here’s how.


How long does it take to develop a new habit? A bit like asking how longs a piece of string. The time period can be anything from a single second to several years.

The speed of a new habit pattern development is largely determined by the intensity of emotion that accompanies the decision to begin acting in a particular way.

Many people think about and talk about resolving to lose weight and becoming physically fit. This may go on for years.

Then one day the doctor says that  ‘If you don’t do something about your weight, by changing your diet and doing some exercise, you’re likely to die in the next few years.

Suddenly the thought of dying becomes so intense emotionally, that the individual immediately changes his diet, begins exercising, stops smoking and becomes a healthy person immediately.

Psychologists refer to this as a ‘Significant Emotional Experience.’ An experience of intense joy or pain, combined with a new behaviour, can create a habitual pattern that may endure for the rest of the person’s life.A lovely looking girl with long brown hair and wearing a blue dress lays in a field of yellow flowers pondering change

The classic example is putting your hand on a hot stove or touching a live electrical wire. Both will give you intense and immediate pain and/or shock. The experience may only last for a split second. But for the rest of your life, you will have developed the habit of not putting your hand on a hot stove, or touching live electrical wires. The habit will have been formed immediately and forever.

The experience may only last for a split second. But for the rest of your life, you will have developed the habit of not putting your hand on a hot stove, or touching live electrical wires. The habit will have been formed immediately and forever.


According to the experts, it takes about 21 days to break or form a habit pattern of medium complexity.

By this we  mean simple habits, such as getting up earlier at a specific time, exercising each morning before you start out, listening to podcasts in your car or at home, going to bed at a certain hour, being punctual for appointments, planning every day in advance, starting with your most important tasks each day, or completing your tasks before you start something else.

These are habits of medium complexity that can be quite easily developed in 14-21 days through practice and repetition

MAKE A DECISIONA lady lays above a reflection of herself smiling , knowing she can do this

First, make a decision. Decide clearly what you want, what you are going to do and when you are going to begin acting in a specific way 100 % of the time, whenever that behaviour is required.

For example, if you decide to get up early and exercise each morning, set the alarm on your clock for a specific time, and when the alarm goes off, immediately get up, put on your exercise gear and begin your exercise session.


Second, never allow an exception to your new habit pattern during the formative stages. Don’t make excuses or rationalizations. Don’t let yourself off the hook. If you resolve to get yourself to get up at  6.00 am, you must do this every single morning until this becomes automatic.


Third, tell others that you are going to begin practicing a new particular behaviour. It is amazing how disciplined and determined you will become when you know that others are watching you, to see if you have the willpower to follow through.




Fourth, visualize yourself performing or behaving in a particular way in a particular situation. The more you visualize and imagine yourself acting as if A brilliant sunset with a woman's face in the background with a sign pointing towadrs her dreamsyou already had the new habit, the more rapidly this behaviour will be accepted by your subconscious mind and become automatic.


Fourth, Create an Affirmation that you repeat over and over to yourself. This repetition dramatically increases the speed at which you develop the new habit.

For example, you can say something like. ‘I get up immediately at 6.00 am every morning’. Repeat these words, making them the last thing you do before you fall asleep. In most cases, you will automatically wake up minutes before the alarm clock goes off, and soon you will need no alarm clock at all.


Sixth, resolve to persist in these new behaviours until it is so automatic and easy that you actually feel uncomfortable when you do not do what you have decided to do.


Seventh, and most important, give yourself a reward of some kind for practicing the new behaviour. Each time you reward yourself you reaffirm and reinforce the new behaviour. So you begin to associate, at an unconscious level, the pleasure of the reward with the behaviour.

An enticing meal of grilled chicken breast and a lovely looking saladA sunset, a beach and two glasses of white wine come together

A beautiful girl with long brown hair in a cowboy hat sings and enjoys life

You set up your own force field of positive consequences that you unconsciously look forward to as the result of engaging in the behaviour or habit that you have decided upon.

Motivation Is What Gets You Started – Habits Are What Keeps You Going 

Arnold Schwarzenegger with shirt off raises his arms with the caption= 'Conquer'

There is tremendous opportunity here to instill new habits into Your ‘Triangle of Joy. ‘

Your Mind –Your Body-And –Your Soul.

Please don’t underestimate your ability to create change in every area of your life, by creating and maintaining your new habits. I wish you well.

I am here beside you always, should you ever need any encouragement, help or advice. It would truly be my pleasure.

With Gratitude Always…

PaulPaul sits relaxing and posing for a photo in a park in wonderful Wuhan China



  1. Hi Paul, I found your blog interesting. Your website was well set out and very easy to follow. Do you have any suggestions on breaking habits as I always last about 10 days and then my old habits come back. like losing weight and drinking water. I would love to get up and exercise too but just don’t have the energy.

    1. Hi Paul,

      Your not alone mate, just go easy on yourself, and remember if you can get to 10 days your half way to creating and embedding these new habits.Habits grow out of desire for change, and the best way to start to grow desire is to set some goals that inspire you to keep your momentum going.

      Please check out my post on Goal Setting, I promise you that if you follow my examples there and follow the simple instructions you will find the strength, inspiration and desire to follow through. I will Leave the link at the bottom of this comment. 

      Congratulations.. your only 21 days away from success!

      Cheers Mate 


      I’d love to hear back from you re your goals and new found habits.

  2. Well written and straight to the point. Thanks a lot for sharing. One question though, would you recommend devices used for ab trimming (i dunno what there called). Also does green tea actually help in reducing stomach fat?
    Ive been drinking so much green tea these days like it was the only drink that existed.

    1. MurphyG

      Thanks for the comment mate, and in answer to your question, I think any exercise along with a sensible diet is going to trim that belly fat. Also variation is key as your body soon adjusts to doing the same routine everyday and you will start to plateau.

      I have been drinking green tea now for several months, but only as a substitute for coffee and I have lost some of my stomach. So yes I would recommend green tea for fat loss and a healthier alternative for coffee.

      Hope this has been helpful, need any recommendations re the ab trimming machines, please don’t hesitate to contact me.



  3. I have been struggling to make the new resolutions a common pattern through my formative stages. Can you please help me know how you go about this?

    Like, how do you get yourself to wake at 3 in the morning on a daily basis, when you don’t even hear the alarm ringing?

    1. Hello Dave,

      Go easy on yourself my friend everything is a process in motion and when your resolutions are important enough you WILL make the time. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of taking the time to set goals and understanding WHY these goals must be attained. This is the first step and remember that action creates motivation, progress creates happiness, and the discipline you develop will give you the freedom and choices.

      With regards to my waking at 6am (not 3am) hehe, I put this down to my desire to achieve all my goals and the whys that are attached to them.

      Don’t give up Dave, just keep moving forward

      All the very best my friend



  4. Hi Paul,
    Really good article. And I have been changing habits around how I work on my business and also my health, exercising and weight loss. The decision had to come first however and you are right about how something can get so bad that your emotions and attitude become stronger towards wanting to change. Which mine have. And I have never been more determined to make all the things I mentioned get better.

    I recently have been listening to Tony Robbin’s “The Edge” on Spotify and it pretty much covers everything you have here in this article. Such powerful stuff! Thanks for your share on this.
    Cheers, Sharon

  5. Hi Paul, 

    Really good article.  And I have been changing habits around how I work on my business and also my health, exercising and weight loss.  The decision had to come first however and you are right about how something can get so bad that your emotions and attitude become stronger towards wanting to change.  Which mine have.  And I have never been more determined to make all the things I mentioned get better.

    I recently have been listening to Tony Robbin’s “The Edge” on Spotify and it pretty much covers everything you have here in this article.  Such powerful stuff!   Thanks for your share on this.Cheers, Sharon

    1. Hello Sharon,

      Really nice to get your comment, and you hit the nail on the head for Riaz who is struggling right now for change. You have come to a place where the desire to change override your desire to stay the same, and I can feel the commitment in your words. Go get em girl!

      Also sounds like you are working in many different aspects of your life and Tony Robbins is a wonderful guy to use as a mentor. Come back again soon my friend you are welcome here anytime.

      Warmest regards always


  6. I believe in good habits too. I am a very skinny guy who’s always on the computer. I changed my habits and started going to the gym with high commitment . I train hard everyday, follow a good habit and it becomes second nature. My body weight has increased from a skinny guy to a better body build. So it’s true good habit is key to success.

    1. Hi Kit

      Nice to hear from you, and it’s really wonderful to hear how you have changed some habits and you have made some huge progress.

      I’m sure this one change is having an effect on so many different aspects of your life. Congratulations!

      Keep up the great work my friend and continue to improve every single day

      Well done 


  7. Hey Paul,

    21 days to break or form a habit pattern? No wonder I feel so lazy after a few days, i haven’t quite gotten used to a habitual pattern yet! Powerful thing this one, does this apply to procrastination too? 

    I’ve been procrastinating for quite some time but when I tried to dismiss that feeling and keep on working, I can only do so for a day and I instantly got back to my old procrastinating habits :/

    1. Hey Riaz

      Come on mate your not even having a go or giving yourself a chance. Your negative talk is not helping you either. But hey, it’s never too late. First of all go easy on yourself, we tend to be our harshest critic. Just relax, often the things we attempt to do aren’t really important enough and sometimes they are not what we truly desire.

      One things for sure if you haven’t got a big enough “WHY” you will continue to struggle. This is also true with procrastination. One things for sure if you truly have a strong enough reason for change , you will!

      Never give up my friend. Don’t hesitate to write to me should you be ready to move forward and check out some of my many articles here at Personal Development Mastery that can tip things your way

      Thanks as always Riaz


  8. This website helps me get inspired and motivated ,I also often get inspired by quotes as well.Thoughts that provide positive impact are needed to have the will to move on.I think success is a long way that requires will power, discipline and attitude etc.But most of us are driven by habits to feel great .Those short term enjoyment have become habitual and form as obstacles in our life.I think this website would have huge inspiration for people to listen to what might help people stay motivated.Cheers and thanks you 

    1. Hello there,

      Great to hear from you and your feedback is appreciated. I sincerely hope you enjoyed my article on  the importance of having and maintaining good habits. As you suggested they are the foundation on which you build your future.

      Hopefully you’ll take something from this and introduce into your life’s plan, and I give you my very best wishes.

      Regards always


  9. I have a friend that told me about the idea of self talk and having positive thoughts. At first I was skeptical, I mean how can thinking positively actually help make your life better? But after resisting for awhile, I followed their advice and began to focus on my thoughts and actions, and before long my behavior was much improved, which you probably could have guessed. Thank you for sharing this, I will pass it along to my friends and family, it is very good information!

    1. Hey Travis, Great to hear from ayou and even more pleased to hear you took your friends advice. Focused thing and positive self talk can work wonders if you can stick with it and I am sure you will. Great work!

  10. Dear Paul, you never cease to amaze me! You have a very good sense of humour. Your content is top notch, well structured, interesting and easy to comprehend + your website is clean and simple. I love it.

    It is true that some people will never be dedicated and committed to the tasks of developing a relevant and important habit until they get to hear or see something that will trigger their emotions… I am developing good habits because of the future I see

    1. Nice to have you here again Techie. Thanks for you kind words and I can only hope that these small but life changing examples rub of on you and all my readers. Keep going!

  11. I’m Personally  NLP Certified, and I agree with you that the Positive start changing, is  the replacement of negative habits by searching and choosing a good and positive ones, your content is so rich with information, and I think it’s the way to success. by the way I’d like the using of the word ” the empowering habits”.

    1. Hi Youness, Nice to hear from you and NLP is a great skill to practice. Your kind words have inspired me and we all need a little inspiration sometimes. Thanks again and best wishes

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