Hello and Welcomephoto of a proud dad- Paul and his daughter kiah as a baby

Before I introduce you to this Self-Esteem section of my posts, I couldn’t help but want to share my experience with you in researching this one particular topic.

If you have or are currently suffering from, or know someone else who is challenged from a deficiency in self-esteem, I hope you will stay with me on this one.

First of all, I must say this self-esteem stuff has left me pondering and also left me with a few personal challenges. I have spent the majority of the last week reading and researching self-esteem, and on each of the evenings and mornings away from the research, I was left reliving my past, and the present days of my daughter whom I love so very much.A forever proud dad-Paul with his daughter Kiah as a woman

I saw myself in every trait of the low self-esteem personality. So many awkward and uncomfortable memories flashed through my mind and left me feeling a sense of sadness that was hard to explain.

My mind also posed questions, like “Why have I not researched this topic previously and more thoroughly?” Why at 55 years of age was this juggernaut of awareness, that hit me like a sledgehammer revealed to me Now.. so late?’

I could have bought about the changes I so desperately desired. I was left with the vivid memories of my relentless and tireless work ethic, which was focused on the branches, and not the root of the problem.

I could have worked and focused on this one erroneous zone that as I now know, overrode all the others some 30 years ago.

While I can say with the utmost gratitude that I do not suffer from low self-esteem today, I can see so clearly as I write that this was possibly the root of all my so called problems or situations that I have worked so hard to eradicate.

I can only presume that this student (me) had to wait till he was 55 to be ready for the teacher to appear. I need to be grateful to you my readers, because of my desire to improve the lives of others, through this website, allowing me this truly profound opportunity.Pauls daughter Kiah looks back at the camera in this photo

As I write these words the fog or the haze, whatever you want to call it lifts and I am able to source from where this sadness grew roots, that while receding, still resides within me.

I understand it stems from the love I have for my daughter. I now see all her personal struggles arising from this one source of low self-esteem, and as her father, I have to take some sort of responsibility.

She turned 25 recently and she currently resides in London and me in China. Our communication has become very limited, the reason of which I am not sure. It is not easy when the person you love above all suddenly stops talking to you for no apparent reason.

But I have accepted the fact and surrendered to it, with the understanding that I trust and support every and all decisions she makes, along with the knowing that when the time is right, our relationship will begin again and grow into a new and even stronger one.

Today as I sit here and write, with the many years of knowledge I have absorbed, I feel powerless to have any influence on my babies struggle. I can just send her my love and pray that I stay strong enough on a daily basis to know everything will be ok.

She is my greatest gift and I love her dearly as I let her go to find her own way for now.a childs hand holds her fathers thumb tight

As parents, most of you if not all can relate to this situation, a feeling of powerlessness that can only be negated by an understanding that she has her own path, and that her pain, her struggle, is part of her journey just as it has been mine.

That I must take a step back, that my pain and sense of powerlessness is really a form of ignorance that will, in turn, be disguised as arrogance, if I for one minute think that I know what is best for her, that I have all the answers.

When the truth of the matter is that her life is unfolding in divine perfection, and I have no right to interfere in that perfection.

As a parent, we all know that our child’s pain is our pain. As a grown woman she is aware of this and through her trials and tribulations, her growth has taught her not to burden her father.

And as her father, I have learnt that every situation needs to be dealt with or accepted, not turned into a problem.

So as I surrender my concern for this moment, I recall a previous time in my life, and I am reminded that despite everything I have comfort in knowing this,

“So often I feel I know nothing about anything, little about everything, and then I look into my daughter’s eyes, and all of a sudden I know everything there is to know. I know Love without Measure, I feel Joy without Limits, and I have Peace Beyond Knowing”

Because for me as a man, there can be no greater gift in this lifetime, than to have fathered a daughter!


a beautiful letter from Pauls daughter Kiah and the way she feels about him

I’d truly love to hear of any experiences from other parents who have a story they’d like to share, or any sons and daughters for that matter. I look forward with gratitude to hearing from you.

Because Your Steps To Unconditional Love Are Really Your Steps Of Unconditional Love

My Very Warmest Regards



  1. It’s not easy dealing with anyone who has low self esteem especially your child. It’s even harder when you live so far apart from one another. I can attest to that, but you have to stay in touch as much as possible. Everyone has to feel good about themselves and be grateful for everything. You can only be there for them and guide them and hope that they get through the doubtful times.

    1. Hello Rob
      So nice to hear your thoughts and yes parenting is probably the most challenging of all jobs. Often times we feel like we are the only ones which couldn’t be further from the truth. She will visit me in China some time I’m sure, In the mean time I must just take one step at a time with my contact knowing my No1 goal right now is the restoration of our relationship. When the time is right we will be reunited once more.Wishing you all the best to you and yours.
      This too shall pass
      ‘Feeling good and grateful for everything.’
      Thanks again Rob S


  2. I usually try affirmations whenever I’m feeling low and it is not that easy to include it every day in your routine. I have heard a few people suggesting that affirmations are important and should be done every day but most of the times I forget and the only time I tend to remember is when I’m having my lows.

    1. Hi Shrey,
      I don’t think you’re different from most other people. and that’s the major problem. We all tend to look for a quick out when we are feeling low, and we’ll often do whatever it takes until life is a bed of roses again. The secret with any tool that increases the quality of our life is consistency and discipline to commit small acts and repeat them day after day after day. As you know life is a journey, not a destination and the journey contains many ups and downs, but with some discipline, you can have a much smoother road, and truly find the path to freedom.
      If I can offer any further advice please don’t hesitate to ask
      All the very best to you Shrey

  3. I have had a looked at your website… and I love your article for Affirmations For Self Esteem – A Personal Prelude. I am not a parent yet but I am a daughter who understands both my own low self-esteem and that of both my parents. I love them both dearly and understand they are products of their parents and that they are only ever doing their best. I have so many memories of being told things that did nothing to improve either my self-esteem or my confidence. My awareness of how important our words are and your story about your daughter has got me committed to break the cycle.I was moved to tears as I felt your love for you daughter.
    I wish you well and I look forward to using your suggested affirmation to ensure I am strong in both my marriage and motherhood
    Thank You

    1. Hi Aisha,
      I’m so glad you resonated with this story of my personal challenges in parenthood. It is certainly not original but surely one of limited awareness by many parents. From what you have said, I feel so grateful that I may have affected you enough to make a difference and break the chain so to speak. What you mentioned was so true, we are all without awareness the result of the previous generations of family doing the best they could for their level of consciousness at the time
      I Wish You Courage And Strength Aisha

  4. Hi Paul,
    thank you for sharing this lovely story about yourself and your connection to your daughter. It is unusual to hear dads talk so openly about family love. Often we dismiss that sort of talk as “women’s talk”. Thank you for taking the time to open yourself up like this. I really like the way that your relationship is continuing in some for – even though you are in different countries.
    My question to you is how do you work from home so that you can travel and catch up with family whenever you want to?

    1. Hello,

      Thanks for sharing your comment and I spose i wear my heart on my sleeve sometimes, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The post was written a little while ago, however our relationship has been strengthened somewhat I’m glad to say. We are both in Australia and have been seeing a lot of each other.

      I currently have my own website and with the help of a company called Wealthy Affiliate I am able to pay my own way and have big plans for future success

      Truly appreciate your words, 

      With great thanks


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