UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS THE TRUE DEPTH OF LOVE
Hello and Welcome
Before I introduce you to this Self-Esteem section of my posts, I couldn’t help but want to share my experience with you in researching this one particular topic.
If you have or are currently suffering from, or know someone else who is challenged from a deficiency in self-esteem, I hope you will stay with me on this one.
First of all, I must say this self-esteem stuff has left me pondering and also left me with a few personal challenges. I have spent the majority of the last week reading and researching self-esteem, and on each of the evenings and mornings away from the research, I was left reliving my past, and the present days of my daughter whom I love so very much.
I saw myself in every trait of the low self-esteem personality. So many awkward and uncomfortable memories flashed through my mind and left me feeling a sense of sadness that was hard to explain.
My mind also posed questions, like “Why have I not researched this topic previously and more thoroughly?” Why at 55 years of age was this juggernaut of awareness, that hit me like a sledgehammer revealed to me Now.. so late?’
I could have bought about the changes I so desperately desired. I was left with the vivid memories of my relentless and tireless work ethic, which was focused on the branches, and not the root of the problem.
I could have worked and focused on this one erroneous zone that as I now know, overrode all the others some 30 years ago.
While I can say with the utmost gratitude that I do not suffer from low self-esteem today, I can see so clearly as I write that this was possibly the root of all my so called problems or situations that I have worked so hard to eradicate.
I can only presume that this student (me) had to wait till he was 55 to be ready for the teacher to appear. I need to be grateful to you my readers, because of my desire to improve the lives of others, through this website, allowing me this truly profound opportunity.
As I write these words the fog or the haze, whatever you want to call it lifts and I am able to source from where this sadness grew roots, that while receding, still resides within me.
I understand it stems from the love I have for my daughter. I now see all her personal struggles arising from this one source of low self-esteem, and as her father, I have to take some sort of responsibility.
She turned 25 recently and she currently resides in London and me in China. Our communication has become very limited, the reason of which I am not sure. It is not easy when the person you love above all suddenly stops talking to you for no apparent reason.
But I have accepted the fact and surrendered to it, with the understanding that I trust and support every and all decisions she makes, along with the knowing that when the time is right, our relationship will begin again and grow into a new and even stronger one.
Today as I sit here and write, with the many years of knowledge I have absorbed, I feel powerless to have any influence on my babies struggle. I can just send her my love and pray that I stay strong enough on a daily basis to know everything will be ok.
She is my greatest gift and I love her dearly as I let her go to find her own way for now.
As parents, most of you if not all can relate to this situation, a feeling of powerlessness that can only be negated by an understanding that she has her own path, and that her pain, her struggle, is part of her journey just as it has been mine.
That I must take a step back, that my pain and sense of powerlessness is really a form of ignorance that will, in turn, be disguised as arrogance, if I for one minute think that I know what is best for her, that I have all the answers.
When the truth of the matter is that her life is unfolding in divine perfection, and I have no right to interfere in that perfection.
As a parent, we all know that our child’s pain is our pain. As a grown woman she is aware of this and through her trials and tribulations, her growth has taught her not to burden her father.
And as her father, I have learnt that every situation needs to be dealt with or accepted, not turned into a problem.
So as I surrender my concern for this moment, I recall a previous time in my life, and I am reminded that despite everything I have comfort in knowing this,
“So often I feel I know nothing about anything, little about everything, and then I look into my daughter’s eyes, and all of a sudden I know everything there is to know. I know Love without Measure, I feel Joy without Limits, and I have Peace Beyond Knowing”
Because for me as a man, there can be no greater gift in this lifetime, than to have fathered a daughter!
I’d truly love to hear of any experiences from other parents who have a story they’d like to share, or any sons and daughters for that matter. I look forward with gratitude to hearing from you.
Because Your Steps To Unconditional Love Are Really Your Steps Of Unconditional Love
My Very Warmest Regards